


Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

by Backfired



Series: Backward Compatibility [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Established Relationship, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, Lots of swearing because Hank, M/M, after androids start being treated more like humans, set post good ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 18:20:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14816453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Backfired/pseuds/Backfired
Summary: Hank couldn’t fucking believe this shit.  His life had actually turned into some kind of shitty rom-com without his consent.He was actually, in this very moment, standing in the entrance of a fucking CyberLife Adult Store.  Not only that, but he was in a CyberLife Adult Store, getting ready to buy a dick…for his robot boyfriend. What. the actual. fuck.





	Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

**Author's Note:**

> translation into 中文 available: [仿生人会梦见电子羊吗？](http://864953241.lofter.com/post/1d4073e1_ee907660) by [abloomedleaf](http://archiveofourown.org/users/abloomedleaf).

Hank couldn’t fucking believe this shit.  His life had actually turned into some kind of shitty rom-com without his consent. 

He was actually, in this very moment, standing in the entrance of a fucking CyberLife Adult Store.  Not only that, but he was in a CyberLife Adult Store, getting ready to buy a dick…for his robot boyfriend. What. the actual. fuck.

“Experience the sensual side of your android,” declared the store’s slogan as it scrolled along the floor and ceiling.  Images of synthetic skin in lacy lingerie flashed across the walls in tandem to the pulses of the store music’s heavy beat.  

Jesus fuck.  This was worse than the time in Eden Club.  At least then he hadn’t been visiting the establishment as a…customer.  Lord give him strength.  He decided it was best to get this done as quick as possible.  Rip it off like a band-aid and all that.

Next to him, Connor peered around the store curiously, taking in the shelves boldly displaying various types of “equipment” built specifically for androids, along with the usual adult store toys.  Some of the attachments were so outlandish that Hank felt queasy just looking at them.  He hoped Connor wasn’t getting any strange ideas.  He had debated long and hard whether he should take Connor with him, and even though Connor had no opinion either way Hank had felt it would have been a bit callous if he didn’t bring Connor to help him choose something that ultimately would be altering Connor’s body, not his.  

Connor turned to him as he heard Hank sigh. 

“Do you see anything you like, lieutenant?”

Hank put a hand over his face, “For Christ’s sake Connor, don’t call me that right now.”

Connor blinked owlishly at him, and with an innocent expression said, “Alright, Hank.” That goddamn sneaky bastard, Hank thought. He knew _exactly_ what he was doing.

Casting Connor a glare, Hank squared his shoulders and decided the most direct route would be best. He didn’t want to linger too long in the store.  God help him if someone he knew actually saw him inside.  He marched stiffly up to the store counter where an android employee was waiting patiently.  Connor trailed behind.

“Hello, sir, how may I help you today?” The android smiled pleasantly at him. Hank glanced at the nametag, which read “Alex.”

Hank cleared his throat, “I uh, wanted to purchase a basic sexual upgrade for my—” Hank fumbled, he hadn’t planned this far into what he was going to say, “my……wife’s—no wait I mean my daughter’s—um—” _godfuckingshitdamnit_ , Connor raised an amused eyebrow, “— _my daughter’s_ …android…boyfriend,” He finished lamely.  Jesus shitfucking Christ.

“I see,” Alex smiled, unperturbed, “Well then let’s take a look at the general genital upgrades, and then we can move on to equipment and software customization and upgrades.” Hank breathed out a sigh of relief as he and Connor followed the employee to the largest display on the store’s back wall.  The display showed molds of different penises, varying in girth, length, and shapes on one side, and vaginas on the other. 

“Here we have our most popular models on display.  If you see one you’d like, just input the model number onto the touchpad here.  You can either order the model as is, or further customize it on the touchpad.  As you can see, we offer additional functions such as vibration, self-lubrication, and many others, which you can view in the menu selection. Please take your time choosing what you’d like.  I’ll be at the counter whenever you’re ready to move onto software customization.” Oh thank god, Hank thought as Alex left them to return to the front counter.  He didn’t think he would have been able to take the embarrassment if he personally had to describe what he wanted to the employee.  Connor had been analyzing the rows upon rows of models, but turned to Hank with a neutral expression as the employee left. 

“Feel free to choose whatever you’d like, Hank.  Since I have no personal experience, I don’t have any preferences.”

Hank frowned, “Alright, but don’t be afraid to tell me if you want or don’t want anything.  It _is_ going to be changing _your_ body after all, not mine.” Connor nodded in assurance.

Hank looked over the selection, grimacing at the garishly colored and strangely shaped phalluses, redirecting his attention to the more normal looking penis models.  He decided a modestly sized one would be best.  Not that Hank hadn’t had his fair share of more wild sexual trysts in his youth, but that history was long in his past.  Besides, they could always work up to a larger or more eccentric one.  With that in mind, Hank chose the most average and boring of average and boring penises on display.  After inputting the model number on the touchpad, a 3D model and various customization options appeared on screen.  Hank turned to Connor to see if he had any opinions.

“Self-lubrication may be a useful function,” Connor suggested, “As for the other options, I’ll leave that up to you to decide, Hank.”

Honestly the multitude of choices daunted Hank a bit.  He was slightly tempted to select the vibration option but decided against it in the end.  When he saw the “prehensile” option he paled a bit.  It only got wilder after that, so he decided to just stick with Connor’s suggestion of self-lubrication as the only customization.  After inputting his personal information onto the pad so that it would be delivered to his address, he headed up to the counter with Connor in tow.

“We’re uh, ready to look at software upgrades.”

“Perfect! We have an extremely wide selection of sexual experiences.” The android employee turned a touchpad around so that Hank and Connor could see a long list of sexual acts, roles, and package deals encompassing certain kinks.

“These upgrades and package deals will make your daughter’s android—”

“Connor,” Connor supplied helpfully.

“—make Connor the experienced lover of your dreams.  He’ll be an instant expert in any of these kinks and sexual acts. Of course, if none of these interest you, we also have the “vanilla” package as an option.  We also understand that some customers would like to explore on their own, and thus we also have a “basic” plan that will simply install the software necessary for Connor to operate his new genitalia and will not include any sexual expertise.  Is there any particular package that you believe your daughter would enjoy?”

Connor actually had the gall to turn to Hank and smirk at him as he said, “Yes, Hank, is there any kink package that _your daughter_ would enjoy?”

That fucker.

Hank said through gritted teeth, “I don’t know, Connor, wouldn’t you know better?”

“Hmm,” Connor paused in faux-contemplation as he perused the list, “I’m not sure.  I was thinking…BDSM?”

_What_.

“Oh _hell no_ ,” Hank’s eyes practically bugged out of his skull.

“Then…pet-play?” Connor’s smile only grew wider as he turned that innocent look on Hank again.

“Jesus— _WHAT?!_ ”

“Pet-play,” Connor repeated, “It’s where—”

“No, NO, _NO_. Do _NOT_ continue that sentence.”

“Then how about watersp—”

“ _NO_.”

“Foodpl—”

“NO.”

Connor tapped his chin, whether in actual frustration or not Hank couldn’t tell. Suddenly his face lit up.

“Ah, this one seems perfectly up y—her alley. Gunplay!”

“Gun— _what_.” Hank stared at Connor, a bit flabbergasted.  Just a few months ago Connor hadn’t even understood a simple joke about where he could stick his instructions and now he was suggesting bringing _gunplay_ into the bedroom.

When Hank saw Connor still looking back at him expectantly, he ran a hand down his face and sighed.

“No, Connor…I think we should just stick to either the vanilla or basic package.”

Connor didn’t seem the least bit disheartened by the suggestion.

“Of course, Hank. I wouldn’t mind getting either one.”

“No worries if you can’t decide now,” Alex reassured, “You can always get the basic package for now and upgrade to another package deal later. After your first purchase with a registered account, you’ll be able to purchase, download, and install any package deal afterwards from the comfort of your own home.”

Hank grunted, thinking, as he watched Connor scrolling curiously through the list on the touchpad once more.  If Hank was being honest he did kinda actually want Connor’s first time to be a first time.  Awkward fumbling and all.  And besides, they could always upgrade to Connor the Sex God at any time, if what Alex said was true. 

“Alright,” Hank turned to the employee, “We’ll take the basic package.”

“Wonderful,” Alex said, “You can pay now and fill out your new account information, and the software redeeming code should be sent to you immediately.  Your hardware upgrade should arrive in three to five business days.” Hank processed the payment, filled out all the information, and signed off on all the dotted lines.

“Thank you so much for shopping with us. I hope you enjoy your new upgrades!” Alex cheerfully waved goodbye as they left the store. 

Hank sighed in relief as he and Connor got into the car.  Honestly that was less of an ordeal than he expected. 

“Just three or five more days of waiting,” Connor commented as Hank started the car.

Hank looked over, surprised at the anticipation in Connor’s voice.

“Yup, just a few more days.”

Connor looked back at Hank with an expression that was almost fond. He couldn’t help himself though and teased, “Now, was that really so bad of an experience, lieutenant?”

Hank grimaced, “Don’t call me that,” he said out of habit, before poking Connor in the chest, “And it would have been a lot easier if you hadn’t been so much of a cheeky little shit.”

“Of course, because it was entirely my fault that _your daughter_ needed her android boyfriend to get a sexual upgrade, hmm?”

Hank groaned, “Let’s never talk about that again. This conversation ends now, unless you want to wait more than three to five business days to get any use out of that new upgrade of yours.”  Despite Hank’s scowl, Connor simply looked back with a mild expression and mimed zipping up his lips.

Goddamnit, Hank couldn’t wait to put those new upgrades to use.

**Author's Note:**

> hello im sorry for writing this but once i got the idea in my head i could not NOT write this. will there be a smexy continuation? who knows...
> 
> also i can't believe no one has used this title yet LOL
> 
> edit: caved and made a dbh twitter/tumblr, come yell at me [@hanks_fantasies](http://twitter.com/hanks_fantasies) on twitter or [@hanks-fantasies](http://hanks-fantasies.tumblr.com) on tumblr. i have art requests open bc im much faster at drawing nsfw than i am at writing it LOL


End file.
